June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

As astrologers we each have our style, preferences, and orientation for our practice. Every month, we choose a question about our professional astrology practice, and collect your responses here.
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Dvora
 
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June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

Postby Dvora » Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:23 pm

Dear Forum visitors,
And here we are at the June question of the month. Thank you Melanie Reinhart for taking the time to offer your answers and to suggest this question.
The same question was raised at the OPA retreat in Myrtle Beach. So Melanie you are synchronistically in tune with OPA's vibes. We hope you join us one day on our soulful retreats.

HAVE YOU EVER REFUSED TO DO A READING ON SOMEONE'S HOROSCOPE? IF YES, DESCRIBE THE SITUATION AND WHY YOU REFUSED. IF NO, WOULD YOU? UNDER WHAT KIND OF CIRCUMSTANCES?

OPA, members, you are all invited to offer your questions. There is no "too small" or "not that important to ask" questions. Please share your thoughts. We are all happy to be a part of your thought process.

Please note that due to my moving to Israel on June 30th, I will be sending this coming E-News on June 28. Please send your answers before that date so I can include them.

Warmly yours,

Dvora

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Maurice
 
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Re: June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

Postby Maurice » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:07 am

A few reasons can lead me to refuse to perform a reading for someone:

1 - someone is asking for a reading on behalf of another person - The person him/herself would need to contact me and affirm they want the reading.

2 - They are looking for something I cannot truly provide

3 - they are coming to test astrology, rather than genuine need for advice

4 - not enough time has passed since the previous reading (say they come after two weeks...)

5 - my safety is compromised - I had someone come physically in my office and he was mentally unstable. When I raised sensitive questions, he became emotionally hostile. I had to calm him down and bring the reading to an end as graciously as possible. Never to accept him again for any service.

Victoria
 
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Re: June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

Postby Victoria » Wed Jul 10, 2013 7:31 pm

Yes, I have refused to do readings for people who want me want me to do astrocartography....that's not my knowledge bank.
Also, I've had a couple of people request a reading then basically Insistthat I come "their astrologer"...so I refused the reading
because I felt like I would have been taken advantage of. It was their thought that if I were "their astrologer" I would be available
at any time to answer any question about their lives. I graciously declined the request to do a reading for them.

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Maurice
 
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Re: June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

Postby Maurice » Wed Jul 17, 2013 3:00 am

Bob Mulligan
Answer:Generally, I would see anyone who requested my services because I feel that we must have the karma or they would not be approaching me. There are a few exceptional circumstances. None of these things happen with any frequency but I find it good to have a boundary when it does. 1) If I don’t feel love for a client I won’t see them. 2) If I suspect that the consultation will not be successful I won’t see them. 3) If I have some prohibiting relationship or attraction to a potential client I will not see them. There are times when I just don’t feel love for a client, either when I talk with them on the telephone, or when I’m looking at their chart, or even when I have met them at a public gathering and they ask me to do their chart. When this happens I tell the person that I think I’m the wrong person to do their chart. In all of my practice I can only think of a few times this has happened. Further, I accept completely that the fault or shortcoming is with me. Still, I believe that it is healthier for the person to see someone else. When the person’s manner of approaching me leads me to believe that either the person wants something from me that I can’t or don’t do, then I don’t see them. Once in a while someone’s questioning of what I will be able to tell them in a session leads me to believe they are looking for a psychic and not an astrologer…or if they keep asking questions without booking an appointment, I assume that they are not invested enough in the process or they are too tentative to make it a good session. Once in a while my children, ex-wife, or sibling wants advice from me, I prefer to send them to someone else. And one time a woman asked me to do her chart and I referred her to someone else because I had a romantic attraction to her and thought I might want to date her some time. I reiterate, all of these circumstances are rare, but they are worth noting.
For A Better Astrology,
Bob Mulligan
President of The Astrology Company
Theastrologycompany.com
239-261-2840

Wendy Stacey
The only time I refuse to do a reading is when either someone wants a reading on behalf of someone else or when people want to buy a ‘consultation gift’. I think it is important that when we do a consultation that the client is the one who seeks it.
Wendy

Patrick Lewis
Dvora, I rarely refuse to see a client. I do remember one time, I had a request to go to a very dangerous part of the city, and read for a lady who burnt her own house down. It is hard to read for mentally challenged people, for most of the time it makes little sense.
Patrick .

Alice Kashuba
When a client calls for a consultation I try to determine the reason for their request. If they are asking about something that is not in my area of expertise, then I refer them to someone else. Examples would be relocation or financial questions.
Alice

Cheryl Hopkins
I have had 2 cases within the last several years where I wished I had. In one instance the person’s energy was like an intentional blank slate in the other I had the feeling half way through the session that the client wasn’t doing this because he thought it would be helpful but because his mother wanted it for him. He was less antagonistic but not present or responsive. I have had to say no to a client with no time of birth who was unwilling to locate their time of birth. I can’t say under what circumstances I would say no. It would probably be something that made sense to do in the particular circumstance.

Jane Ridden Patrick
I have refused to give consultations, but only rarely. Twice I refused when I felt that men [whom I knew and who wanted to have a relationship] were using an appointment as a means of being alone with me. I have also refused when I felt that the person was in a fragile mental state that I neither qualified to deal with nor felt I could be helpful; where (once) the potential client was downright rude; or when I have had a very bad vibe and listened to my intuition. The most straightforward reason for refusing is when the client tries when booking to insist on having something that I clearly state that I don’t do [e.g. past lives]. Fortunately situations like these don’t occur very often!

Alexandra Karacostas
Rarely have I refused to work with others/clients. In the past it's been because:
I knew them personally or were too close to them (i.e., family member)
They wanted medical advice which I am not qualified to offer
They wanted financial advice I did not feel comfortable offering
or I felt they wanted something from me other than my professional services.
In most of the situations listed above I have referred them to other astrologers-on a very rare occasion I simply said I could not help them.
Alexandra .

John Marchesella
Dvora,
Next week, I am delighted to be celebrating my 37th year in astrology!
In 37 years, I am very happy to say that I have refused to read for someone less than a dozen times or so.
Most of those occasions are because I came to realize the client can't break his or her "addiction" to astrology, specifically the predictive end of astrology, and used the astrology to resist growth, instead of to grow. This, however, is after quite a while of working with the client and trying to get them to use the astrology appropriately.
A couple of times, I was "stiffed" by a client or two with a bounced check, and years later, he or she tried to re-book with me. I guess he or she assumed I didn't keep good records.
I know some astrologers refuse to see clients due to a conflict of interest with other clients, but I've always been able to draw strict boundaries between clients who are married, friends or business associates.
This is not to say clients have refused to see me for a host of reasons, but that's not the question of the day.
And funnily enough, just this week, I refused to read for a woman who refused to give me her last name because she assumed I would google her! Oh, how the practice of astrology changes with the times!
I first reminded her that she would be in my home, and I would not allow someone with no last name into my personal space. She assured me she's a decent person. I indicated that a decent person would offer a last name. Then, I told her, if she expected me to be honest with her, then she should expect to be honest with me. She told me she's honest. I told her she was being deceptive, and she did not relent. Then, I told her, if she expected me to be professional with her, she would have to treat me professionally. She's a Taurus, and I am primarily fixed, so you can imagine the tit for tat between us. And you just have to look at the astrology of the past week! Then, I explained that she's probably looking for a psychic reading or something other than what I provide for my clientele. She assured me she was very experienced with readings of all kinds, and based on her google search of me (!), I am just the reader that she was looking for. Finally, I assured I wasn't, cancelled the appointment, and hung up.
I immediately thought this will make a good story for my colleagues, so here you are.
Be well, and thanks to all those who have been supportive of the NCGR conference. I'm very glad our organizations are working cooperatively.
John

Dmitriy Paramonov

Yes, I have such situation and it happens in those moments when I can’t help the client.
Before the consultation I try to immediately identify the scope of questions that will be discussed during the consultation. At once I warn you, what kind of questions I can’t answer: health, politics and questions about the personal lives of others. This allows the client to clearly understand what it receives from the astrological consultation.
But, despite this, yet there are times when I refuse a client in consultation. These cases are related with a situation where I’m not an expert on that matter, which sets the client. At these moments, I suggest to the client to address to the expert who can provide more quality care.
For example:
- The client asks about health. At such moments, I send the client to the doctor or to the astrologer, who owns a medical astrology and has a medical education.
- The client asks for the answer to which necessary to know the law. At these moments, I send a client to a lawyer or an astrologer having a law education.
- The client has a mental disorder. At these moments, I advise the client to seek medical advice.
These are the main reasons that I can’t refuse a client in consultation. I believe a racial, national, religious or political difference doesn’t reason to refuse consultations. There are times when the client asks is immoral in the country which I live. But in a country which a person lives, it isn’t considered immoral. People are different and the moral right of the scope of business is very different from a person engaged the science of morality.
Of course, despite all the difference in social populations to adhere to the requirements that apply to me as a citizen of my countries. I have to respect and honor the laws of my state.


Dvora Weil
Yes, I have refused to see clients clients who, for example, declared that the purpose for their consultation is to "know when will I get married", versus why aren't they married, or discuss what blocks them from getting married.
I will see anyone who wants to go through a process to deepen their understanding about themselves. I believe that once people understand the "why", things start moving to the direction they wanted in the first place. And if it takes longer, at least they have the patience to ride the wave of time.
Dvora

simmi
 
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Re: June 13 - Have you ever refused to do a reading?

Postby simmi » Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:03 pm

Hi all, someone refused to read my horoscope report due to less time and frustration. It is not a good manner of astrologer that they cannot refused to read anyone birth report.


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