Cancer New Moon - client's inappropriate behaviours

As astrologers we each have our style, preferences, and orientation for our practice. Every month, we choose a question about our professional astrology practice, and collect your responses here.
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Boaz
 
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Joined: Fri May 02, 2014 7:59 pm
Full Name: Boaz Fyler
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel

Cancer New Moon - client's inappropriate behaviours

Postby Boaz » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:04 pm

Greetings OPA members,

Here is a new question for the coming New Moon in
Cancer:


How do you handle it when your client shares during a reading ideas or behaviours that you consider (or are generally considered) out of line or inappropriate? For example: strong racist views, or mistreatment of animals, or dislike of their own children.
Do you share your views, or do you see it as none of your business?



Please send in all your answers to: opacommunityoutreach@gmail.com by July 13th.

Thank you!


Kate & Boaz


Katerusko
 
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Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:46 am
Full Name: Kate Rusko
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Cancer New Moon - client's inappropriate behaviours

Postby Katerusko » Wed Jul 15, 2015 1:36 pm

Maurice Fernandez

I’m generally open minded and will accept people’s diverse value or belief systems, however, there are some behaviors that can trigger me. Most importantly, what I want to assess is if these controversial values and opinions do actually serve my client. People come to a reading because they want clarity and need to resolve some problems. Are these “out of line” stances actually sabotaging their own well-being? If so, it will be pertinent for me to address these issues and make the client understand that some of their value system may actually sabotage their own well-being. When this is the case, it goes beyond my personal irritation, but becomes part of what the chart reflects that needs transformation.

William Sebrans

I tend not to attract people who overtly express hateful things or participate in clearly darkside behaviors.

That said, the people that come in my world may tend to have shadows to their ostensible spiritual lives that I feel called to adroitly shed light on though artful questioning. A Mars/Pluto square in a 'liberal progressive' for example, might tend to be looking for male violence where it is not, or be a walking invitation to an argument with authority. Or such a person may have issues from actual negative experiences that have been buried, and the energy is displaced into negative attitudes/behaviors or self-violation.

In such cases, I see it as my duty to tease out the truth - warmly and without judgement.

I assume that if someone comes to me with something that I might judge, that they arrived there in part to receive an equanimous hearing of their issue, as would a therapist or priest offer,- and also I see it as an invitation to me to do some internal work, Byron Katie style, where I might own in a 'turn-around' some version of that issue.

Recently I had an astrology/coaching client, a 48 yr old woman, who had been having a 5 year clandestine affair ( good at secret!) with an exciting man, though she quite loved her husband. She also had not finished a PhD for 8 years. Neither is a heinous offense, so it was not difficult to be in a curious, inviting mode about her issues - and where it was possible to begin to integrate her outward fire nature (Leo Asc and Sag Sun) with her feminine hidden side (Venus/Neptune/Scorpio - 4th, Moon Cancer/NNode 12th). She needed acceptance first and trust first before she could begin to own her kinky, wildly romantic, and not so straightforward sides.

I prefer a context of a defined number of sessions integrating coaching/astrology/human design so the issues can be explored and fleshed out in depth. I find the one shot reading often initially stimulating, but ultimately more challenging and not as rewarding for myself and client. Also, such an approach can at the beginning lighten the 'pressure' to inform or saturate the client with useful information and more focus on establishing the relationship.

Shawn Nygaard

The first thing I always keep in mind is that I am doing an astrology reading. My point of view of the person's chart is most important - not my point of view of their attitudes and beliefs. The chart comes first. Then, there is a good chance that the person's attitudes and beliefs can be viewed through my understanding of their chart, or I can even learn something I may have overlooked in preparing for the reading. If someone has a strong racial bias, I look to the chart for answers, because what they are saying will be in the chart. If someone dislikes their own child, surely something in the parent-child synastry reveals what is going on. People do not pay me to preach my beliefs to them. They pay me for a chart reading, and I do my best to work as closely with the chart as possible during the reading. Sometimes sharing my own views helps (they came to me for the reading, after all), but more importantly, everything a client says refers me back to their chart.

Patty Finlayson

I would not share or agree with their views, but would be as understanding as much as possible. The person has come to me for a reading and it is up to me to help that person as much as possible, without judgment. Gradually, gently, I would ask if the client is in counselling and help them with identification as a help with their counselling.

This is a tough one. It is very delicate and would be handled with great verbal care, but I would try to help the client understand why, maybe help them identify fear. Usually it can be discovered that the client had been mistreated in the past and is reacting to the mistreatment. The “past” can even be a previous lifetime, which when revealed to the client is a relief.

Alexandra Karacostas

I make every effort to respect my client's views, even when I strongly disagree with them, and as a general rule when in session, do not share my own views in great length or at all. Depends on situation.
If a client shares with me information about abusive or dangerous behavior, I offer suggestions and if necessary, would contact appropriate authorities.

Donna Young

Unless what someone is doing puts someone else at risk (animals included), I don't consider the sharing of this information something for me to pass judgement on. I've had very meaningful conversations with women who carried a great amount of guilt over their perceived shortcomings with regard to parenting - their feelings that they didn't love their children enough or that they weren't nurturing enough. In my opinion, these types of revelations are important entry points into exploring the chart and getting to the root of some deeper issues in the individual. The most meaningful work can be done when a client is willing to share at this level.

Sandra Leigh Serio

These types of behaviors have to be handled very delicately because as astrologers (and the same for therapists) we have to be impartial and non-judgmemtal. However, if a crime has been committed (cruelty to animals or physical harm to humans) then we have an obligation to report it to the proper authorities. If the behaviors are so uncomfortable for us, it would be better not to see the client again. Another option is to refer the client to a therapist or other health professional. I once had a client who was very upset that her daughter was dating (and later married) a man of another race. She said to me "we did not raise her that way." I realized I had a racist for a client and said to her that her daughter was of a totally different generation than she was and that generation was much more open to interracial dating. What I wanted to say was her daughter had a much higher consciousness about these things but refrained from those remarks. Her daughter subsequently had two children with her husband and the mother softened because of these lovely grandchildren but, in truth, she never liked her daughter's husband and her daughter eventually divorced him because the marriage simply wasn't working.

Anne Ortelee

Fortunately, inappropriate ideas or behaviors don't happen much in the course of my client work. Generally, I find clients reflect for astrologers the issues the astrologers are working on personally. After all, the clients are transits in our charts! In working with my students, when they encounter these situations, I suggest they look at their own lives to see what is being mirrored back by their clients. Often the client reflects an un-owned or not integrated component or up for review portion of the astrologer's life.

Arlan Wise

People pay astrologers for their astrological guidance not for political or cultural advice. If a client says things that I feel are offensive, biased, or racist, i listen but do not challenge them. I will try to hear what the unconscious is saying underneath the words and note that. If I do not like the client, or feel uncomfortable with his/her opinions, I may refuse to see them again.

Kay Taylor

I hold a view of compassion and empathy for all clients as much as possible, being careful to be aware of my own biases and judgments. From that position, I look to the chart for clues about why a person might hold views that are generally considered inappropriate or out of line and speak of the astrology as objectively as possible to help the client understand their deeper feelings and options for growth and evolution. Honestly I don't often have clients who exhibit these extreme examples, but an example for me would be that I tend to be very liberal and nurturing in the raising of children. Others will often have a much more rigid and disciplinarian view. I will generally support them in their views if they are happy and feel their parenting is working, providing them with information about what kind of parenting their child needs from the chart, and will provide alternative views if they are asking me that question and are concerned their tactics aren't working. I'm not talking about outright abuse here, which I might feel compelled to report if it came up. If a parent dislikes their child (and this is an issue they wish to talk about) I might help them see family patterns, if their own needs are being met, if they are overly stressed from parenting, and if they need professional parenting support for example. I've had a couple of parents who had their teens kidnapped and taken to a rehab facility in a remote location. I have simply told them I was unable to be neutral on this issue (because my own parents had me locked up when I was a teen--I may or may not mention that depending on my connection with the client). I explained I felt there was great risk in the rupture of the parent/child trust bond, but that I understood they were feeling overwhelmed with fear for their child and trying to find a healing solution. I found by naming my own personal trigger yet being compassionate to their situation, I was finding a balance. From there I was able to look at the charts and help illuminate the situation objectively.

Dmitriy Paramonov

Astrology has no nationality and religion. There is no astrology for women or for men. I have not heard of a democratic or communist astrology. But I know politicians who use astrology in making decisions. I know women who use Astrology to be more attractive, and men who use Astrology to be more successful. I know that religions successfully use Astrology. I know people who have a long tradition in Astrology.

Astrology is beyond religion, nationality, political or gender representations. As a citizen I am entitled to a certain philosophical position, but not as an astrologer. As an astrologer I should be neutral with respect to my client’s religion. I have to be neutral to nationality, gender, or social status of the client. For the astrologer all clients are equal.

I can refuse to consult only if a client asks a question that is outside my competence (medicine, law, politics), or when a client asks about a thirdsman (except cases when the mother asks about the child). I answer for all other questions regardless of my attitudes. As an astrologer I have to be as neutral with respect to the client. I have no right to condemn the client. The client comes to me to get a piece of advice, not condemnation. Astrologers do not provide estimates of right / wrong. Astrologers give an answer that would be if the client goes in a certain way. They give a hint how to neutralize the tension in the horoscope hinder the achievement of this goal, or explain why the client cannot achieve the desired result. Telling what is good / bad, and right / wrong - it is business of a church, psychologists, society, state.

During my astrological practice a variety of clients have came to me. Among them were not only solid citizens.

If I am asked: "What if I commit financial fraud?" I have to answer that man as if he will do it. I will not tell him that this act is good or bad. I just answer his question – what the client should expect if he follows through.

If I am asked to choose the time to open a brothel, I have to pick the right time. In my country, prostitution is banned, but there are countries in which prostitution is considered to be the normal way of earnings. I cannot judge this man. We are from different cultures with different moral values.

If a man asks me what would change if he cheats on his spouse with another person, I have to answer his question. He asks me good or bad if he does. He asks what will happen to him if he follows through on his plan? I have to say that to him.

I do not approve the actions of these people. As to crime, I am obliged to inform the police.

Kim de Noüe

Interesting question. I have not really run into anyone that mistreats animals. I may have heard a racist comment sometime in the distant past and sometimes every parent dislikes their children, if they are really honest about it! :-) So, to answer the question, this has not been a common theme in my readings, but when I have heard about inappropriate behavior, I typically ask how it makes them feel. I believe it is our role to be there for the client, but we also have an opportunity to help them see themselves more clearly. By asking about their feelings, it is easier to get to the heart of the matter. Usually inappropriate behaviors have a trigger; most often some old wound/soft spot or just difficult experiences, which have led to an insensitivity. Often, these core issues can be made more obvious to someone, when a pattern is identified in the chart. Recognition of the issue is a beginning to the healing process. I also try to empathize with the feelings of the client, even if I cannot really understand their behavior. Regardless, compassion for the emotions of the client is healing and may - at least momentarily - soften aggressive impulses or help them to have a more open attitude. Also, it is important to know that I am not a therapist, so if the issue is serious, I would always refer them to a professional counselor for help in sorting things out.

Vinnie Scotti

I do my best to not have judgment. I have heard people tell me a lot of things that people just don't talk about in this society, and even in the astrology communities. When people have judgment they typically do not know to recommend certain 12 step programs or other resources for these people. The standard medical model is "disease is bad and we should go to war with it”. I have seen astrologers approach soul sickness in the same way. People that have sexually abused others, say with a Pluto in the 10th house in opposition to Chiron in Pisces conjunct the Moon almost always were victims of this themselves. When people are heard without judgment they sometimes come to the place were they can understand they are not bad people that need to straighten out, but they are sick people whom need healing in order to not hurt other people in the extreme was they have. I am reminded of the yogi Milarepa, he was a murderer and a black magician. Something happen to Milarepa and he found redemption, he went through some healing, and become a compassionate buddhist monk and a great teacher. I myself need to find forgiveness for what is done in the name of my country, as well forgiveness towards the oil industry and the power elites for their massive cover up of the facts of man made global warming. This is somewhat of an ideal though. But it’s an imperfect practice, and if I remind myself of this I can be a lot more effective as an astrologer. Yet the focusing on "the other" i.e. the oil industry and the mass murder of innocent people in the "deep politics of U.S. global imperialism", can be a projection where I'm not working on my own issues. It’s good to see through the occasional drama of astrology as a "competitive sport" and just do my small part to help other people.


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